My Fantasy
by Shibata Kimiko
Summary: A lonely young girl just wants to be normal...but it's always out of reach. One-shot. Some adult language. Psychological.
1. Chapter 1

(Author's note: The inspiration for this one-shot came from something mentioned on the Wild Mass Guessing page for Neon Genesis Evangelion on TVTropes. Also, it happens in our world, AKA Reality.)

"Rei? Rei, are you even listening to me?"

The pale girl gazed quietly out the window of her therapist's office, barely registering the sounds coming from the older man's mouth. She was too busy watching the birds fly to bother paying attention to him, anyway. She wished she could be one of them, soaring freely without a care, instead of being stuck in this pathetic excuse for a life. Nobody understood her…nobody _could_ understand her, it seemed. Her parents had sent her to therapy in the hope that it would change something about her; make her more "normal". So far, it wasn't working.

The therapist sighed. "Rei, I need you to pay attention to me, please. We were going to talk about empathy today, remember?"

Rei finally glanced away from the window, tone flat, expression mildly annoyed. "Yes, I remember. You don't need to talk to me like I'm a preschooler, Mark."

The therapist sighed. Getting through to this girl was nearly impossible most of the time. She was either off in cuckoo land or she misinterpreted everything he said, taking even the most obviously figurative statements as painfully literal ones. He'd been working with her for four years now, but she was still as impenetrable and cold as she had been in their very first session. "Well, I'm glad you remember. Now, empathy is when you're able to understand and sympathize with another person's feelings. Would you say that _you_ exhibit empathy, Rei?"

Rei didn't answer. Instead she turned to stare out the window again, wishing she didn't have to be here at all. She hated this place with its bland colors and small rooms, each holding a puffed-up suit with a psychology degree. They were all pretentious bastards, pretending to understand everything about the human mind, but none of them could understand her. She'd seen five different therapists in this building, and all of them had given up on her eventually. They told her parents there was no reasoning with her; that she was just too stubborn or withdrawn to understand what they said. One even said she was too _stupid_ to comprehend it. Rei smirked at the memory, recalling how her father had tossed _this_ shrink out of their house on his ass in a rare fit of parental rage.

The therapist sighed. "Rei…let's call it a day, alright? It's clear that you're not interested in talking to me today."

Rei stood, picking up her messenger bag and stalking out of the tiny office without bothering to say goodbye. It wasn't that she didn't want to; it simply didn't occur to her to do so. She exited the building, taking a left and striding calmly down the Tokyo street, deftly avoiding people going the other way as she headed for home. Two train lines and a bus ride later, she stepped onto her front porch, sighing. She knew that as soon as she opened the door she'd be hit with a barrage of questions and annoyances. Her mother would want to know why she was home early, her sister would undoubtedly taunt her for some small mistake Rei had made during the day, and her father would probably ignore her as always. Of all of these, she dreaded her sister's taunting the most. Her mother could always be mollified with a quick lie, and her father's apathy didn't bother her. Her sister, on the other hand, was downright _nasty_ sometimes. Rei sighed, turning the knob, trying to steel herself for whatever new torture would meet her on the other side of the door.

As soon as she entered the house her sister approached, a superior smirk on her crimson-painted lips. She smirked, hands resting comfortably on her hips. "Hey, Wondergirl. Been out chasing birds again?"

Rei tried to push past her without answering, looking down, but her sister wasn't having any of that. Rei found herself shoved back against the door, her sister's hand pinning her in place. Rei squirmed uncomfortably, the physical contact making her extremely uncomfortable. Her sister smirked again, taunting. "Guess who _I'm_ going on a date with tonight?"

Rei spoke quietly, not looking up at her sister. "A date? The way you're dressed, I thought you were going to sell yourself in the red light district."

Her sister laughed cruelly. "Oh, you _wish_, Wondergirl. No…I've got a date with Shinji tonight. Isn't that just _wonderful_?"

Rei flinched, shocked. She'd had a crush on Shinji Ikari since the fourth grade, and her sister knew it. This _had_ to be just one more way for her sister to torture her. She couldn't help muttering a comment. "Asuka…you know _I _like Shinji…"

Asuka grinned. "I know. That's part of why it's so wonderful. Have fun with your cartoons and action figures, Rei-chan. They're all you'll ever have, you retarded freak."

Asuka finally released Rei, having lost interest in her for now. Rei ran up the stairs, restraining tears of hurt and anger. She dashed into her room, slamming the door behind her and flopping down on the bed, sobbing. Her life couldn't possibly get any worse. She had no friends, her sister was dating the guy she liked just to _torture_ her, and her parents hated her…why couldn't she just be _normal_? Why'd she have to be born a freak? People thought she was cold and bitchy all the time, but it wasn't her fault. She just sent the wrong cues whenever she tried to talk. She _wanted_ to be friendly, but couldn't seem to make it work…not that it mattered. If her mental problems weren't an issue, the fact that she was an albino would still drive people away. She didn't stand a chance.

Rei slowly sat up, wiping tears from her eyes and looking around her room. The walls were covered in shelves, those shelves laden with character and robot figures, manga, and anime series on DVD, all giant robot shows or dramas. It seemed like these were her only real friends sometimes, fictional characters that seemed to understand how she felt, and even live through similar situations. She slowly reached out, picking up an Ed figurine from Cowboy Bebop. Ed was her best friend, in a way. She was everything Rei was, but she turned all of her problems into assets. She was funny, fearless, and the main characters loved her. Why couldn't Rei be like that? Why was she stuck being a scared, pathetic loser that nobody seemed to like or understand?

A quiet knock on her bedroom door made Rei jump. Her Ed figurine fell, bouncing off her desk and under the nearby bed. She stood, opening the door silently. Shinji was on the other side, scratching his head awkwardly, still in his school uniform.

"Umm….uhh….hi, Rei-chan…" He was clearly embarrassed to be there. She could see that. Most likely, her mother had forced him to come upstairs and say hello in some pathetic attempt to make Rei socialize. Still…he _was_ here…

"Hello." Something in her tone made him flinch. She cringed inwardly. Had she messed up again? Had she done something wrong, violated one of the million-and-one social rules she could never seem to remember?

Shinji recovered quickly, giving Rei a tentative, awkward smile. He was so cute when he did that, she thought. He almost seemed to be as nervous as she was. Her momentary happiness at this thought collapsed when she realized that he was probably as scared of her as most of her other classmates, explaining his anxiety quite neatly. Shinji shuffled his feet, grasping for something to say. "So…uhh…how are you?"

Rei replied as flatly as possible, trying to keep any unwanted emotion out of her tone. "I'm fine. What do you want?"

Shinji cleared his throat, blushing slightly, which confused Rei. "I…uhh…just wanted to see if you were okay. You've been missing a lot of school lately, you know, and…uhh…the class rep wanted me to check on you."

Rei stared at Shinji, trying to decide how to respond. Should she tell him the truth; that she'd been skipping school to go watch birds in the Shinto memorial garden near the high school? Should she lie and say she'd been sick? No…that was a bad idea, since he'd be sure to ask Asuka, and she'd be only too happy to rat her older sister out as a liar as well as a freak. Not knowing what to say, she responded with the first thing that came to mind. "Well, you did your duty. You can leave me alone now."

Shinji's face visibly fell at this, as did Rei's stomach. Now she _knew_ she'd said something wrong…but what? She'd been honest and said what she thought, after all. What had she done wrong? This was why she tried to avoid social interaction at all costs. It was too hard for her. Even now she could feel the anxiety writhing in her stomach, growing more powerful by the moment. She had to end this, and end it fast.

Shinji looked hesitant; as if there was more he wanted to say. Rei stared at him, keeping her expression neutral. "Was there something else?"

Shinji shook his head rapidly. "No! Uhh….I mean…..it's nice to see you, Rei…" He turned, practically running down the hall to Asuka's room. Rei slammed her door shut again, slumping against it, drained from even that small encounter. Just _talking_ to people was hard for her. Sometimes she even envied Asuka, who could walk into a room and become friends with everyone inside in under a minute. She always used and manipulated them, of course, but somehow she had the gift of making people like her anyway. Why couldn't Rei be like that? The few times she'd tried to be social she'd failed horribly. People were still making fun of her for the single time she'd dared to show up at a school dance and had accidentally knocked over the refreshments table. Her parents waved it off as natural clumsiness, but Rei knew different. It was just one more way she was a freak, one more way she was damaged and less capable than everyone else.

She sat on the floor, trying not to cry as she heard Asuka and Shinji leaving on their date. Shinji would probably end up completely in love with Asuka by the end of the night. Not that it mattered, though; Rei wouldn't have a shot with him even if he wasn't interested in her sister. Nobody wanted to risk becoming a social outcast by hanging out with the token handicapped girl in class, after all. The only people who would be friends with her were the class rep, Hikari, and the class's other otaku, Kensuke. They were literally the only friends she had in the world, and sometimes they seemed to avoid her just like everyone else. It'd be so much better if the world had never existed, or if the world was set up so that people like her could actually do something important or make friends…

Staring up at her collection of otaku goods, Rei started to sob, burying her face in her hands. Why did it have to be this way?

The next day, Rei decided to attend school, just to show the teacher that she still existed. She sat in her normal seat at the back, staring out the window and trying to ignore all the cruel comments the other students passed back and forth about her messy hair, her creepy pink eyes, and her assorted personality defects. She tried to focus on the birds, but even that wasn't working for her today. She couldn't stop hearing all of them, the hissing of their combined voices drilling past her normal defenses against the world and embedding their spite-filled statements in her mind. Finally, it was too much for her. At lunchtime she snuck away, going to sit in a nearby memorial garden. If she was lucky, she'd see some birds.

Rei sat on a bench, a sketchpad on her lap and a pencil in hand, looking around for something to draw. Drawing was one of the few therapy techniques that actually worked for her, as her second therapist had found out. Since he'd introduced her to art, she never went anywhere without paper and a drawing tool of some sort. The ink stains on her fingers from her fountain pens often drew mockery from her classmates, but in this instance she didn't mind. She could do something beautiful that they couldn't, so the mockery was worth it.

Rei's eyes locked on to a young man tending one of the flowerbeds. He appeared to be about her age, remarkably feminine, and most incredibly of all, he shared her pale skin and pink eyes. He was carefully digging up lilies that had died during the recent rains, obviously intending to replace them with the potted plants in a tray next to his knees. Rei quickly began sketching the boy, wanting to preserve this moment for the future. Something about him seemed almost ghostly, as if he might disappear into vapor with the next breeze. He was smiling slightly as he worked, his long and delicate fingers prodding carefully at the ground. He seemed to be taking great care with even the dead plants, as if each one had meaning to him that he wanted to preserve and respect.

It took her nearly half an hour to properly draw the boy, during which time he never left his position in the flowerbed. She dropped her pencil, staring at him as she slid the sketchbook back into her bag. He was like her, at least on the surface…maybe she could talk to him without the anxiety and fear that plagued her normal interactions with others. Maybe he could understand her…maybe he could make her less lonely. She stood, cautiously tiptoeing around small clusters of flowers as she made her way over to where he was still calmly planting, being careful not to step on any of his uprooted flowers.

Rei cleared her throat nervously. She almost never started conversations, and wasn't even really sure how to do so. A simple greeting seemed safe enough. "Hello."

The boy looked up, wiping his dirt-covered hands on the thighs of his jeans. He smiled at her, a warm smile that both surprised and comforted her. "Hello to you, too." He stood, looking up at the overcast sky, smiling as a light drizzle began. The mist on his skin almost seemed to shine, and Rei couldn't help but be amazed again at how ethereal this boy seemed. "It's a beautiful day, isn't it?"

He glanced down at her, eyes full of happiness and what she could have sworn was a bit of mischief. She found herself returning his smile, her fear slowly starting to erode. "I guess it is. Do you come here often?"

The boy nodded. "Once a week. I'm here every Thursday at about this time."

Rei absorbed the information, determined to remember it. "My name's Rei. What's yours?"

The boy smiled, extending a hand. "Kaworu. Kaworu Nagisa."

Rei glanced down at it, expression slightly distasteful. "Sorry. I don't like touching people." She cringed inwardly, waiting for the incredulous questions and mockery that were sure to follow. None came. Kaworu simply dropped his hand, still pleasantly smiling at her.

"I understand. I don't really like to either, but people seem to expect it more and more, so I try to be accommodating."

Rei blinked, shocked. That was exactly how she was most of the time. She tried to be accommodating and go along with what people wanted, even if it made her uncomfortable or even scared her. "So, who's this garden for?"

Kaworu's smile took on a slightly melancholy edge. "My mother. She died last year. Cancer."

Rei nodded. "My aunt Misato died of liver failure. I guess it's not really the same thing, but I kinda know how you feel."

Kaworu smiled softly, accepting the sympathy. "I'm glad you do. Since my mother died, I haven't really had anyone to talk to. It always seemed like she was the only one who understood me."

Rei couldn't help but smile at Kaworu. "I feel that way all the time. It seems like nobody really understands how I think or what I'm trying to say. It's so…"

"Lonely?" Kaworu smiled, completing the sentence for her. Rei nodded. "Exactly. It's like I'm the only person on Earth, even though I'm surrounded by other people."

Kaworu chuckled, glancing at the entrance to the memorial garden. "Rei…do you like coffee?"

Rei thought about this for a moment. "I don't think I've ever had it. Why?"

Kaworu hesitated momentarily, blushing slightly. "Well, there's a nice little coffee shop a few blocks from here. I was wondering if you'd like to go get a drink so we can talk more."

Rei froze, the impact of what he was saying finally penetrating her mind. He was asking her on a date. A boy was asking _her_ on a date! She smiled, excited. "Sure. Lead the way!"

Kaworu looked incredibly relieved as he led her out of the memorial garden and into the street.

A blaring horn and the squeal of brakes were all she heard before everything dissolved into darkness and agonizing pain.

After several foggy false starts, Rei finally dragged herself back to consciousness, slowly looking around, groaning as sore muscles in her neck resisted the motion. She was in a hospital bed, that much she could tell. She couldn't move her left arm, as it seemed to be in a cast. More alarmingly, though, she couldn't feel her legs. She poked one of them slowly with her good hand, the complete lack of sensation causing her more alarm than any amount of pain could have. A doctor was standing at the end of the bed. She was a tall, well-built woman with bleach-blonde hair and glasses. Rei noticed she'd forgotten to bleach her eyebrows as well, giving her a ridiculous two-tone look. Rei couldn't help but laugh slightly, despite the seriousness of the situation. The doctor looked up, surprised to hear her patient making a sound. "You're awake. That's good. Can you hear what I'm saying?"

Rei nodded slowly and the woman continued. "Good. My name is Dr. Ritsuko Akagi. I'm you're attending physician right now. I'm afraid you've been in a very serious accident, Miss Ayanami. Do you remember anything about what happened?"

Rei thought about it, then slowly shook her head. She found it was hard to speak, and she had to exert considerable effort to form a sentence. "No…I don't remember anything…..just a car horn, and squealing…."

The doctor nodded. "You were hit by a car, I'm afraid. The driver says you walked right out into the road in front of her. Is that what really happened?"

Rei ground out another answer, one agonizingly difficult syllable at a time. "I'm not sure…..I was following Kaworu….we were going to get coffee."

Dr. Akagi blinked. "Kaworu? Who's that?"

Rei managed to muster a momentary annoyed look before it became too painful to hold. "The boy I was with….he looked like me…."

Dr. Akagi shook her head, muttering to herself as she made notes on a clipboard. "Rei, the driver only saw you. No one else."

Rei shook her head, definite. "She's wrong. I even drew him when I saw him. Look in my bag."

Dr. Akagi sighed, opening Rei's satchel, which was sitting in a storage cubicle. The sketchpad was empty, the paper that had once held a drawing of the boy now pristine. "There's no drawing here, Rei."

Rei's eyes widened in shock. She knew she hadn't imagined it. She couldn't have. Things in her imagination were always on an epic scale, with titanic battles of the ages going on in the sky above her, or a secret plot to destroy the world being derailed by a giant robot invasion at just the right time. She never imagined intimate encounters like the one she'd just had.

Dr. Akagi put the drawing pad down, speaking quietly. "I'm afraid you were quite severely injured in the accident, Rei. Your brain could still be suffering disturbances, including false memories. You sustained a severe concussion, several broken bones, and….." She visibly hesitated, not wanting to deliver this last piece of bad news. "And your spinal column was severely damaged. You'll be permanently paralyzed from the waist down."

Rei was still reeling from the revelation that the boy she'd met wasn't real. This additional horror completely crushed her. She began sobbing. Dr. Akagi tried to hug her, thinking this would help, but Rei pushed her away angrily. She didn't want comfort right now, not from some smarmy doctor who would casually tell her that she'd never walk again and that the only person she'd ever met who seemed to understand her was an illusion. She didn't want false reassurances and fake care. She hurt too much for that. This was a new kind of pain, something she'd never experienced before. She didn't know how to deal with it. The only thing she could think of was that the world shouldn't _be_ like this. It shouldn't be cruel and harsh, waiting to take any chance of happiness away from her. She needed to get it out, take her feelings and somehow distance herself from them so she could deal with them. She only knew one way to do that.

She spoke coldly, voice even despite the tears pouring from her eyes. "Give me my bag."

Dr. Akagi complied without argument, beginning to be afraid of this icy, pale girl. Rei pulled a well-used notebook from the bag. Flipping past pages of poetry and abandoned stories, she finally found a blank page and began to write.

_It is the year 2015, and Shinji Ikari has just arrived in Tokyo-3. He doesn't know why he's there, save that his distant, work-obsessed father has summoned him…_

THE END

(Author's Note, Part Deux: This story is partially based on my concept of the Eva characters in a real-world setting, and partially based on my own very personal experiences with Asperger's Autism. I tried to portray Rei as realistically as I could with that in mind as her diagnosis, and any faults or inaccuracies are either the result of me being unable to describe something accurately or just good ol' dramatic license.)


	2. Alternate Ending

(Author's Note: I took a surprising amount of flack from friends and readers for giving "My Fantasy" such a depressing ending. Guess that's what I get for messing with Rei fanboys/fangirls, huh? The irony is that I had originally planned to give it a happy one, until the idea of Kaworu being unreal came to me. Here, for your reading pleasure, is my original planned ending, with a few refinements. It resumes from the point where Kaworu and Rei are leaving the memorial garden.)

Rei followed Kaworu past the garden gates, head still spinning. She was on a date! She'd never expected to do anything like this, especially not with someone like this boy. She stepped out into the street, moving between two parked cars. The sound of squealing tires knocked her out of her reverie, but before she could react she found herself yanked backwards. She fell, landing on top of Kaworu on the sidewalk, stunned. If he hadn't pulled her back she would've walked right in front of the car that was now speeding away...

Kaworu groaned, shifting slightly under her weight. Rei jumped up quickly, embarrassed, turning to face him as he sat up, rubbing his head but still smiling. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to land on you, it just sort of happened and I wasn't thinking and I should've been able to stay on my feet and I should've been watching where I was going and..."

Her stream of words dried up as Kaworu climbed to his feet. He was laughing. Rei was shocked. How could he be laughing at what had just happened?

He smiled at her. "Rei, it's alright. Accidents happen. Are _you_ okay?"

Rei blinked. She could see that he had a skinned knee and bruises on his face, but he didn't seem to care. He was only worried about her. She didn't know how to deal with this, and it scared her. She wasn't used to people really caring about her. She didn't know what to do, so she went back to what she always did in uncomfortable situations.

"I'm fine," she replied flatly. "Let's go."

She strode across the street, being sure to check for cars this time. Kaworu followed behind, silent. Rei wasn't good at reading people, so she couldn't tell if he was offended by her last statement or if he was ashamed for having upset her or just didn't care or...there were just too many possibilities. She didn't know which was true, and she was too afraid to ask, so she just kept walking. They soon reached the coffee shop. Kaworu took the lead, something Rei was grateful for as she'd never been to a coffee shop before. After grabbing their drinks, Kaworu led Rei over to two comfortable armchairs in a back corner, where they could watch people without being observed themselves.

Rei sank into the cushioned chair, taking a tentative sip of the odd-smelling drink. Her eyes went wide as coffee ran down her throat. It was hot and sweet and not at ALL like she'd expected. It was delicious. She found herself smiling and glancing over at Kaworu. He was sipping his coffee slowly, eyes closed, expression one of quiet enjoyment. Rei cleared her throat, slightly nervous about asking. "There's a lot of stuff on that board. How'd you know what I would like?"

Kaworu answered without opening his eyes, kind amusement in his tone. "It was just a hunch. You seem like you like sweet things, so that's what I ordered."

Rei nodded, taking another sip of her coffee. He was right, though how he knew that she wasn't sure. She had an incredible sweet tooth. She actually had a box full of candy bars under her bed, but she tried not to eat too many at once because she didn't want to get fat.

Kaworu spoke quietly, his tone seeming somehow kind without being condescending. "Rei, can I ask you a question?"

"Umm...sure, I guess." Rei wrapped both hands around her coffee cup, the warmth slowly seeping into her long, delicate fingers. She wondered what he wanted to ask. Something about why her hair was blue? Did he want to poke fun at her threadbare jacket and matching bag? Or did he just want to ask some stupidly trivial question that didn't matter and was a waste of time to even speak? Rei could feel herself getting annoyed already. She hated when people wasted her time asking questions that either they already knew the answer to or that didn't matter.

Kaworu smiled calmly, almost as if he could see her thoughts. "Why were you in the memorial garden?"

Rei blinked, surprised. She hadn't expected a question like that. She felt off-balance, as if nothing was acting how she expected it to. Without thinking, she answered honestly. "I had to get away from school."

Kaworu chuckled. "Well, yeah, I figured that out myself. I mean, why the memorial garden? Why not somewhere further away? You don't have any relatives there, or you'd have paid your respects before we left."

Rei blushed slightly. Could she tell him? It was such a personal thing to her. She didn't want to ruin it by telling anyone else... "I...I went to see the birds."

She cringed, waiting for the inevitable mockery. Only little kids went bird-watching, after all. Why would a high school student be doing something so childish?

Kaworu, far from mocking, calmly nodded. "I like to watch them myself sometimes. It must be wonderful to be a bird, able to defy gravity on a whim, to see such beautiful things from the air.."

He sighed, his voice seeming somehow wistful, as if recalling a half-forgotten memory. "No wonder birds never go to war. They're too busy enjoying a power humans can never share."

Rei nodded silently. She'd always felt the same way, though she'd never told anyone. She would love to be a bird, to be able to fly away from all her problems and spend the rest of her days floating through the sky. She looked up to find Kaworu staring at her, smiling slightly. "Don't you feel the same?"

Rei's blush deepened. "Umm...I guess so, yeah. It's just not something I've ever said to anyone..."

Kaworu frowned. "Why not? Humans have wanted to fly since ancient times. It's nothing to be ashamed of, to dream of being something that can do it so effortlessly."

Rei shook her head. "My...my family wouldn't understand. They'd just think I was being ridiculous. They...they're kind of ashamed of me."

Kaworu tilted his head, apparently puzzled by this. "Why would they be ashamed of you? You're smart, you're sensitive, and you're...well, you're beautiful. They should be proud of you."

Rei frowned slightly, tone bitter. "I'm a _freak_. I don't think the same way other people do. I can't even act normal when I need to. I don't even have any real friends because I scare people away by acting cold when I don't mean to or messing up on social stuff everyone else seems to just _know_. Besides, my younger sister is prettier than I am. Everybody says so. All the boys swarm around her and ignore me, even...Shinji."

She hesitated as she said his name, not wanting to bring up someone else on what was pretty obviously a date. Kaworu didn't seem to mind, though. In fact, he looked oddly determined.

"Rei, do you mind if we go to your house for a bit?"

Rei hesitated. Her father wouldn't care, and her mother would probably be overjoyed that Rei finally had a new friend. But she didn't want to bring this boy around Asuka...either Asuka would steal him from her, or she'd mercilessly mock Rei for weeks about having brought a boy home. Kaworu seemed to sense her dilemma, and smiled.

"If you don't want to, it's alright. But...I want to help you, Rei. Will you trust me?"

Rei froze. There was that word. Trust. She'd never trusted _anyone_. One of her therapists had said that trust wasn't something she was really capable of, that whatever was wired wrong in her brain wouldn't let her just believe that someone meant what they said and would stick to it. She looked at Kaworu, somehow able to see the earnestness and sincerity in his face. Her face set.

Screw her therapists. She'd trust someone if she wanted to. She screwed up her courage and said the most difficult words she'd ever had to say.

"Sure, Kaworu. I'll trust you."

Kaworu smiled softly. "Thank you, Rei. I promise, this will be good."

He stood, still carrying his half-finished coffee. Rei followed suit. They exited the coffee shop, Rei leading the way toward her home. They didn't talk at all while walking, but not out of fear or nerves. Rei found that she felt comfortable being silent around Kaworu. Most of the time, she was so nervous that she'd babble incessantly to anyone who was around, about anything that came to mind. Not right now. She felt no need to talk, felt that Kaworu would be happy whether or not she was talking. She somehow knew that he just wanted her to be comfortable...and that knowledge made her happy.

They stopped on the front porch of the modest suburban home Rei lived in. She shuffled her feet. She had no idea what Kaworu had in mind now that they were here, and that terrified her. She knew she should just open the door and go in, but she couldn't make herself move. It was an unknown situation, and Rei had never done well with the unknown. Kaworu smiled, sensing her nerves. He spoke quietly. "Rei, I promise that what I'm about to do will turn out really well for you, okay? I know you're afraid, but it'll be okay. Are you with me?"

Something in his smile wouldn't allow Rei to say no. She nodded mutely, stepping forward and slowly opening the door. The house was mostly silent, which told Rei that her parents weren't home yet. She darted for the stairs, dashing up them, not even caring that if he wanted to Kaworu would be able to see up her skirt without issue. He followed her up, then into her room and shut the door. She flopped down on her bed, looking at the grey-haired boy as he gazed appreciatively at her collection of anime and figurines.

After a few moments, Rei sat up, clearing her throat nervously. "So...umm...what now?"

Kaworu blinked, shaking his head slightly. "Sorry...drifted off there for a minute. Pack up all the stuff you want to take. I'm bringing you to live with me and my folks."

Rei blinked, shocked. Taking her away? But...this was her home. It was where she'd grown up, it was what she was familiar with. How could she leave? Then again...was it _really_ a home? Sure, she lived here, but she never felt happy or welcome here. If she was going to be honest with herself, she'd have to admit that she was scared of coming home most days. She hated it here. And it would never get any better, not if she didn't do something.

Rei stood, pulling suitcases out of her closet. She piled clothing and knickknacks in one, anime, figurines, and books in the other. Soon, her walls were bare and the suitcases were full. Rei hefted one, surprised to feel how heavy it was. Kaworu lifted the other with ease. Rei noted this, wondering just how strong he was. As they headed down the stairs, a door banged upstairs. Rei froze, wincing.

"Oh, no..."

A shrill, maliciously gleeful voice rang out from the upper hallway. "Hey, Wondergirl! Where ya goin'? Do Mom and Dad know you're taking off?"

Asuka came into view at the top of the stairs, already dressing for whatever date she had tonight. Rei refused to turn around, scrunching her eyes shut and praying that her sadistic sister would just go away. Kaworu, however, turned to face her, calm. "Why do you care? The way you talk, you obviously don't care about her."

Asuka smirked. "Oh, that's not true at all! I _love_ my little retard sister!"

Kaworu frowned. "She's not retarded. Not by a long shot."

Asuka rolled her eyes. "Retarded, autistic. Same difference. Either way, you can do better." She grinned, purposely swishing her hips as she came down the stairs. "You're pretty cute, y'know. I think you and I should get to know each other better."

Rei cringed. This was it. Her first spark of hope in so long, and Asuka was about to steal it from her just because she could. Why couldn't she ever have anything of her own, anything to make her happy? Why was she bothering to try? It'd be better to accept the inevitable and stop feeling sad over it. It'd be better to stop feeling ANYTHING.

To Asuka's surprise, Kaworu's face set into a mask of cold anger. His tone was disapproving, almost hostile. "Sorry. I don't go for whores. You never know what you'll catch."

He turned, speaking kindly to Rei. "Let's get out of here, okay? We can grab some lunch on the way."

The pair left the house, ignoring Asuka as she slumped over the bannister. Something in the way Kaworu had called her a whore had really hit home. Was that all she was being? Was she really that horrible of a person? If so, there was only one thing to do. She turned, going up to the bathroom and drawing a bath. She muttered to herself as she undressed, "I wonder if Daddy still uses straight razors..."

Much later, a taxi dropped Rei and Kaworu outside the Yokota Air Base. Rei gulped slightly, noting the armed soldiers watching them as Kaworu presented a pass and they were waved through the gates.

"So...you live here?" she asked, still nervous with all the soldiers around. She'd heard about some of the things these soldiers had done to these locals. She knew she could defend herself, but the idea of being attacked was still nerve-wracking.

Kaworu smiled. "Yeah. My dad's a helicopter pilot with the 459th Airlift Squadron. American-born, but Japanese by heritage, so they sent him here."

Rei nodded, then blinked. "Wait...your dad flies for a living?"

Kaworu nodded, laughing. "Yeah. I'll see if he can get clearance to take you up this weekend. It's incredible. Probably the closest we'll ever get to being birds."

Rei thought about this for a moment, then smiled. Just the thought of actually flying somehow was making her happier than she'd ever expected to be, and being here with this boy was only adding to her joy.

At the small house Kaworu and his father shared, Kaworu flipped on the light in his room. The walls were covered with anime and movie posters, and his walls were covered with the same kinds of collectibles Rei had. He even had several rare figures she'd never been able to get hold of. Rei gasped, eyes lighting up. Kaworu laughed at this. They talked for a little while, then Rei took the bed while Kaworu slept on the floor at his insistence.

The next morning, Rei awoke slowly, yawning. She sat up, a brilliant shaft of sunlight blasting through her blue hair and illuminating the dust motes floating around the room. They were beautiful to Rei. _Everything_ was beautiful this morning. For the first time in months, she had an idea for a story. Writing was the other thing she'd learned in therapy. She reached for one of her suitcases, being careful not to wake the still-sleeping Kaworu, and extracted a notebook. Grabbing a pen, she flipped to an empty page and began to write.

_Evangelion, Part One: You Are (Not) Alone_

_It is the year 2015. Shinji Ikari has been summoned from his home by his distant, work-obsessed father. Little does he know that ahead of him lie friends to be made, enemies to confront...and a world to save._

The End

(Author's Note, Part Two: And there it is. The originally planned ending for "My Fantasy". I'll admit, I'm not exactly a dab hand at writing happy endings. I lean more toward melancholy and doom. I hope all of you find this satisfying. I actually rather enjoyed writing it. Thanks to Kraven Ergeist for giving me the inspiration to finish this thing. If you guys haven't read his stuff, you should. He's WAY better than me. Thanks also to Kyle Hart for the original idea to this story and to my friend Hilary for pointing out how remarkably in-character it would be for Rei to have a sweet tooth. Remember, everyone. Love is the power of destruction AND rebirth. Which way it goes depends on US.)


End file.
